Saturday, April 26, 2008

Dear Texas Department of Transportation

Dear Sir or Madame

Presently I am traveling from Austin to Boston on foot with my two trusty canine companions, Hudson and Murphy and while we are most grateful for the glorious scenery the great state of Texas has to offer, the rolling hills and dales, the wildflowers in full bloom, and the blackberries just now ripening on the vines, I'm sorry to report that there is a particularly dreadful and dangerous stretch of road which demands your attention.

The road in question is highway 79 between Buffalo and Palestine and more specifically, I am referring to the series of bridges with corseted shoulders of, oh, about three feet wide that span more than half the length of a football field. May I direct your attention to Exhibit 1A?

I assure you, sir or madame, I am not wont to complain nor am I easily terrified but when you've got a super-sized semi blazing at you at seventy miles an hour less than two feet away and on the other side, only a knee high guardrail separating you from a twenty foot drop into the muddy marshlands of east Texas, it can be, ah, a little daunting. There really wasn't much we could do other than hold on to the railing, throw out a hail Mary, and hope.

You must really be wondering right now how we fared? We made it through okay, thank you most thoughtful sir or madame, though I have discovered that body hair can turn gray, too, and in places you wouldn't imagine.

I realize the time and expense of widening the existing bridges would be considerable but should another member of my family be affected by cancer, we may just have to make the return trip from Boston to Austin one day. Here are some suggestions: Hire boat people. You can probably get em cheap maybe a couple of bucks a day and gondolas can't set you back too much.

Also, that stretch of Hwy 79 has lots of hairpin curves with tree branches cropping out over the road and overgrown brush and brambles severely limiting visibility. And with traffic whipping around those curves at breakneck speeds, you're kinda forced to use the easement which with waist high weeds isn't so easy. Please see Exhibit 1B. I don't mean to sound whiney, patient sir or madame, but doing some landscape maintenance sure would be swell.

Very truly

Your Big Dog (And Hudson and Murphy, too!!)

1 comment:

Jerry G Dawg said...

You have more bravery in your dewclaws than we will ever have. Wow.