Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Post Mortem

Thank you to everyone who attended Murphy’s virtual wake Saturday evening which ironically I couldn’t participate because we’ve made too many friends on Facebook. Over 2,000 posts of pictures and stories about one for every mile we walked.

I’m going to keep the page open since it reflects just how many hearts Murphy left his pawprints on - here’s the link if you’d like to share your own.

Since I wasn’t available to answer questions I’ll try to do that here.

Why wasn’t Murphy euthanized Monday?

Quite honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to do it despite all of the tough guy talk in my father’s day blog. But then I got over myself and since I did not want Murphy’s last moments spent indoors, there was a scheduling conflict with the vet on Tuesday.

Where was Murphy given rest?

Bartlett city park at Bartlett blvd & Stage rd next to the pavilion.

Why did you choose cremation over burial?

Personally I do not believe in burial for spiritual, conservation, and scientific reasons. I myself will never be buried.

What are you planning on doing with Murphy’s ashes?

I wish I could say I had that already mapped out but I don’t. They will continue on our travels as long and until…

Why did you post that picture of you carrying Murphy’s lifeless body?

First of all, there’s a lot more to that photograph than anyone knows. But it speaks for itself.

How is Hudson holding up?

He’s gotten fatter than a opossum in a peach tree. After radiation last August Murphy really couldn’t hike very far anymore and we only walked as far as he could. But Hudson’s been well fed on Honest Kitchen and Nature’s Variety throughout and well, he’s a whole lotta biscuits and gravy now. Hudsy’s so fat he’s not Hugsy anymore – he can’t even get up on his hind legs to hug people.

But he’s my butterball and since there isn’t a Biggest Loser Dog Edition, we’ve got a lot of work to do together. Monday we started walking every morning just a mile or so until he regains his fighting weight and then we’ll ramp up from there.

What’s next?

Tuesday or Wednesday next week I am headed to the forest to fast for 18 days. It’s looking like that’s somewhere near Wolf Creek in Memphis though I have to scout it out this weekend. The battle over the past year has exacted a tremendous mental, physical, and spiritual toll on me coming off of an 826 day walk. I’m not sure I can articulate my reasons any more clearly right now other than, it’s what comes next.

Hudson won’t be with me but he will be near enough that Ginger can bring him out every couple of days along with water supply. I’ll post more about it as details finalize. Yes, it’s dangerous but do not fear for me.

What can I do?

Remain steadfast for now. When I return from my fast I will be calling on each and every one of you. There’s a lot going on in the background which I didn’t have the heart to talk about until Murphy was given rest. I’m going to need a few things before I leave next week and will post them here.

puppy up!

Hudson & Luke


gail hengen said...

I know you dont know me from one joe to the next but i wanted to thank you and the boys for being in my life even in just one small way :) its amazing how connected people can feel through the distance. my thoughts and prayers will be with you and yours while you take this time for yourself- give the fur kids a good scratch and hug for me and keep one for yourself when your ready for it :)

Take care.
Gail H. Northern Idaho.

Jennie said...

Thank you Luke for clarifying things some people just didn't understand...but, there are those of us who do, either cause we've been there, are there, or we just share the common love for God's creatures. Do what you must, just know that we will be waiting when you get back. Bear and I remain steadfast...we are here, what can we do? From the NW corner of New Mexico...Bear and Jennie

wendy said...

One step at a time Luke. God bless you and Hudson. Maybe ,after your fast a new face in the house might get Hudson more active! Just a thought. Peace and best wishes always.

Solitude.Peace said...

Luke, my inspiration, my confidant, my friend...

I have read your blog many times and I am always left with the same feeling, inspired. You have spoken so much about so many topics, some of which are contriversal, but from the mouth in which you speak only one side is worn. You are truthful, loving and you do not waiver. In giving this particular blog some thought I realized that you answered questions that yes, many people have had and because of your devotion you answered them. You do not owe anyone an explanation about anything you have done. You answer because in my heart I believe if you cared enough to walk over 2300 miles for 2 years, 826 days then you care enough to calm those that are uncertain.

Monday vs. Wednesday to euthanize your son, well my dear whichever day it had been it wouldn't have changed your pain. It doesn't matter.

Those of us that know you know that Murphy's ashes will remain with you... you wouldn't have it any other way. If you should have Murphy's ashes in a box, pendant or a tattoo... He will be with you as he has always been, it will just be in a different form.

For myself, I will never be buried, that was decided a long time ago and I'm not changing my mind and I owe no one an explanation other than that is what I feel and long for.

I looked up the place where you gave him rest from the disease. Of course you would have him outside, that was his life. I am pleased that you honored your son in such a way.

You posted the picture for your own reason and I may never know why nor is it truthfully any of my business. I was told about it before I actually had a chance to see it but all I was told was to prepare myself. It wasn't as bad as I thought and I didn't even know what to expect. I have seen your travels as poetry so to me it spoke in that fashion. Maybe that doesn't make sense to the masses or even you but for me you are a poem and so was Murphy. Murphy stood tall against whatever he was faced with and you looked him eye to eye. Both of you, along with the now good ole fat Hudson, battled many uncertainities and you made it. The weather was only one of many. So you holding your son after he battled the hardest fight of his life was an honor and poetic.

18 days is a long time to go without food although we need water to survive more than food. For Murphy, nearly a year with cancer was a long time so I am sure your 18 days will be nothing as far as you are concerned. Sorry to say, I can't recall how long Malcolm lived with cancer. It will be dangerous and I will worry about you no matter what you say. I will pray for you though I battle with it myself but I do believe in prayer so I will not allow a day or night to go by that you are not the main focus when I speak to God. He will protect you, seek him.

I don't know the pain you speak of for I have not lost a son of my own. I know that I care deeply for the passion that has spilled out amongst the pages of your life. When you feel alone, you are not... I am here

Anonymous said...

After our talk last week you left me puzzled still trying to figure out the fasting.. but hey its you.. "Luke doing it his way" I wish you luck and pray for you! I hope those ears are fine tuned for the listening you will be doing!! :)


Dogmom Diva said...

Luke, best of luck to you in your fast..drink lots of liquids and try to stay cool...glad Hudsy will be visiting you, you will both need that.

God bless..