Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My Prayer for Murphy

When I was first blessed with the vision of our walk it blinded me and laden with doubt, I turned away from it. Then you showed me it was your will.

Still I balked. "But the road will be too hard and too long and the risks to Hudson and Murphy too many". Do you remember that conversation?

You answered that you would deliver my boys safely from Austin to Boston. That day I set the date of our departure. You kept your promise. You even kept Murphy's cancer at bay until a week after the completion of the walk when he first showed symptoms but by then the tumor was already advanced and inoperable.

We haven't talked much since then or more truthfully I haven't been in the mood to listen. I've been fighting for Murphy's survival these past six months and making every medical decision to the best of my ability to save your servant, my son. Though tonight he lies alone in an ICU stripped of all defenses, susceptible to the slightest infection that could kill him.

So what do you want from me now god? Have I not given everything that I am?

I don't ask you for forgiveness because I cannot both serve you on my knees and walk righteously for my cause. I won't ask you for mercy for myself or to be spared any emotion or pain.

All I ask is don't take Murphy.... not my other son. He's not done here

16 comments:

shanna said...

brings tears to me my eyes! We love you Murph stay strong bud u and ur family are n my prayers.

Jennifer Vachon said...

Your prayer for Murphy is ... beautiful. As I sit here with tears running down my face I'm praying that God listens

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

Your plea is so genuine and soulful that you can be certain God is listening. Your pain rips through time and space to make us bleed prayerful alongside of you. I just hope He agrees with you.

All our energy and strength to Murphy that he maintain his dignity as he struggles to choose between fighting on and moving into the next realm. Peace to you both.

Crystal Davis said...

Luke,
I am so sorry for you. My heart just breaks and I cry for you and Murphy almost every day! I have been to this place before, so I understand your feelings and confusion and sadness. Please pass a hug and kiss to Murphy! I will send thoughts and prayers that he gets better and spends more time with you and Hudson. WE need ALL of you!!!
A loyal friend, Crystal Davis

Diana said...

My heart aches for you Luke. I was thinking how Life is a gift and we never know how many days or years we have been given- human or animal alike, but we are to measure our days not by it's length of days but by it's quality, and depth of conviction we live by. Murphy shared your journey and your passion and the purpose of the 'walk'. Why, because of love. Love for you and love for Hudson and love from all of those he met along the way. He is a champion and so far has left an incredible Legacy behind. Is his journey ending? It might be so, but he will, the same as Malcolm, live on in our hearts and in the now shared vision of finding a cure for Cancer, both canine and human. I am glad to know and have met Murphy. And I am still praying for his recovery and comfort as well as for you Luke. My words are inadequately expressing my heart, but I hope they have reached across the distance and embraced you.

Scout 'n Freyja said...

I can feel the immense pain in your words. I am so, so sorry that your boy is going through such a horrible experience. So sorry.

Anonymous said...

Luke, you don't have to be on your knees to serve God. You are serving Him by carrying on your cause. You are an example of one who will not give up, who is fighting for the life of your boy and in doing so you may save many others. You show selflessness and compassion. Every decision you have made has come from your heart based on what experts have told you and you have shown great love.
Jesus said, "Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” He is with you even when you are not totally with Him. Your prayer is beautiful and you ask nothing for yourself, only for Murphy. We who love you and your boys are doing the asking for both you and Murphy. Keep your faith, Luke, and listen for even the tiniest whisper.

wendy ludlam said...

Dear Murphy, Hudson and Luke
I saw you all for the first time tonight on Dogs 101 and was overwhelmed by your courage and committment. What a truly noble and extraordinary team you are. I live in Cape Town, South Africa and for many years have been involved with Animal rescue and welfare. Animals for me are the purest and most wonderful of Gods creatures and their welfare and protection is paramount to me. I was heartbroken to read the latest bulletin on darling Murphy. I will pray tonight for a miracle. As your latest blog was 1 Feb I hope and pray that no news is good news. All my love to this beautiful boy and his brother. And my thoughts are truly with his wonderful daddy.
Warmest wishes and thoughts
Wendy Ludlam in Cape Town

Elaine said...

Holding Murphy (my nickname) and your family in our hearts. Bless you.

jthiel73 said...

To a Fellow Walker and Dog Lover,
I have just watched your episode on Dogs101, again. I then grabbed the computer and looked up your story. I was saddened to see that Murphy may not be able to continue walking here on Earth.
I also have participated in a Walk against cancer for the last 7 years, the 3Day Breast Cancer Walk. I can see why you went walking to help eradicate this disease.
Please know your efforts are amazing and your four-legged sons have been blessed to walk with you.
When I set out on the 3Day this year, I'll remember your efforts, 2 and 4 feet at a time.
Godspeed Murphy!

Anonymous said...

Luke, my heart goes out to you and murph. That pray for him was amazing. You are without a doubt an amazing man. Keep your faith in god and he will deliver in his time. I am praying for you and the boys. With love!!

Elizabeth said...

I feel your pain. We lost our Akita mix, Arnold, to mouth cancer two years ago this past January. It happened so quickly and abruptly that we had no choice but to have him put down. He used to come up to my room when I had come home for holiday from college, look in, then lay there at the top of the stairs, guarding me and to make sure I didn't go anywhere. God I miss him. I hope Murphy makes a recovery and know that I'll be hoping and praying for the best.

Carolyn George said...

Hello Murphy Hudson and Luke,
I just saw you on Dogs 101 and was so touched by your efforts in this situation. After I saw you on Dogs 101 I did a search to find you and I am pained to see what is going on I will be thinking of you and hope for the best. You are all brave and wonderful I truely appreciate you!

snickdog said...

Luke, the thoughts and prayers of the entire Woo Crew are with you, Murphy & Hudson during these troubled times...

VoteNovember2008 said...

Beautiful!

Solitude.Peace said...

I find myself reading your blogs often. This one especially. 61 stones is yet another one that I also read. I am in awe with each of them some funny, some sad, some that just make you take a step back and re-evaluate life in general. I am moved by every word that is written and the mind and soul that expresses them. A truly wonderful man indeed. Being a Christian is something that is questioned by many and even sometimes ourself. Though I don't personally question my Christianity I do however question why things happen. To this day I do not understand why some seem to endure more than others although that is left up to perception. I look into the eyes of all three of your son's and also yours. I look in the eyes through the photos you share. I see so much. Breathtaking love. There is something for everyone that God has blessed us with. I believe I have found only the answer to one of my questions and it came to me suddenly. I would love to share with you one on one sometime. You and Malcolm were in the right place at the right time. Was that Fate? Murphy's diagnosis came right at the end of the walk. Was that Fate? God heard you when you asked him to deliver your son's safely. He did this. So regardless of when and how you praise Him..you are his son. He will not abdandon you at any point. He will allow you to question and curse Him, but he will never abdandon you.

Tish