Two things of significance happened today: (1) we got the biopsy results back and the news is good in that it could've been worse. Had the cancer been either osteosarcoma or squamous cell the prognosis would be less promising; (2) we had our first consult with the radiology oncologist, Dr. LaRue. She walked me through the radiation plan using their Varian imaging software.
I had previously seen the CT scan but it's difficult to fully appreciate the size of the tumor unless it's rendered in 3-D. I hope to get a pic of it up here soon but I assure you it is massive, occupying the entire left sinus cavity. No one can know for sure how long its been growing in my boy but the damage it has wrought is extensive.
Parts of the septum, the wall between the two spaces, has been eaten away by the cancer and it's spilling into the other side now. All of the bones used for filtering in the left passage have been consumed completely. Thankfully it was detected before it breached the brain barrier and invaded the occipital space.
This monster means business.
No Stephen King or Wes Craven could ever imagine a beast as absolutely sinster as cancer. It takes your own cells and turns them against you. And since the cells still look normal your entire defense system is rendered helpless. It's nature's perfect enemy.
Hell it even fooled me. I was so preoccupied with the tumor in Murphy's neck that turned out benign, the nasal congestion never seemed anything more than a URI. I was looking the other way. While on the walk, I came up with the 5 'L's for early signs of cancer: lumps, lesions, lameness, loss of appetite, and lethargy. There should be a sixth: the opposite of what Luke thinks.
Forgive me for the self-indulgent guilt but unfortunately, it's part of the process of coping. I should have been paying better attention but we are very, very lucky.
Tonight Murphy & I are camping at Horsetooth Reservoir, a basin at the foothills of the Rockies. We're out in god's country where Murphy loves to be with his papi. An evening out here with my boy is all I need.