The Fire and The Flame
You wouldn't think the two are intrinsically different. But oh, they are. The flame licks and loves and flickers to higher heights to live and breath and believe.
But it cannot exist without the fire beneath. The smoldering, suffocating heat that when once reached its terminal intensity, is absolutely unapproachable, like the slag heaps of the lost and forgotten steel country.
Emily was the first woman I ever loved. She was a cheerleader back in my High School and to this day her smile is unforgotten. She was the embodiment of grace and goodness and she was raised as a strict Southern Baptist. But that didn't stop me from pursuing her. My own denomination was Episcopalian, or like we like to say down south, Catholic without the guilt.
But as soon as I met her I signed right up to her Church and I went to every Bible study, retreat, and revival just to be near her. Hell, I think I ate more pizza in my teenage years for her because that's what they serve at revivals to lure in unsuspecting and desperate youths.
Emily didn't really care for me and I can't blame her because I was, well, mostly a geek. In Sophomore Biology while most of my classmates were gathering leaves as part of their final project, I collected brains. And I gave a lecture about the difference in the anatomy and physiology of cerebral morphology in about ten species.
From there I interned with a Neurologist to study Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and then a Neurosurgeon for Post-Traumatic Syringomyelia. Yep, huge nerd. But in truth I was trying to reconcile my love for a woman of faith with my fascination for science, but inevitably it doesn't work that way.
I loved her flame but not her fire and as soon as I left high school, I took a Bunsen burner to my memory of her and by extension all belief I had because of her.
YBD's Notes 1: I don't fault the notion or intent of Baptist revivals, but really, the tactics need a little modernity. Sushi not pizza.
YBD's Notes 2: Post-Traumatic Syringomyelia - I still think that's what caused Bruce Lee's death and I'm the first who ever posited that notion.
YBD's Notes 3: This post was inspired in part by a snowshoeing adventure with my good friend Larry while we were attempting to start a fire in two feet of snow. I miss you guys.
YBD's Notes 4: I had fully intended to wrap up Chapter 11 by now but this is a big big thing about me.