The Lost Brother

While at dinner with my family in San Antonio last week Jon said grace and in his prayer he thanked God that 'Our lost brother has come home'.  

Today I leave Memphis to return to New England to tell this story.  As you know I've tried in the past and either the timing or platform or partners didn't pan out.  Events that have transpired in recent months have convinced me the time is now.  

Admittedly the problem has primarily been me or more specifically the standards I set for it.  Just as with the two walks I wanted to do something no one else has before and relegating the story to the Christian book market or a PBS special was unacceptable.  Even a film festival documentary didn't seem sufficient.  

The epidemic of cancer in our companions demands and deserves the widest audience possible and I've always pushed and pushed to that end.  But one lesson I've learned repeatedly is you cannot depend on anyone else to realize your vision and like life on the road it's you and you alone.  

I now know how to tell this story and the manner in which to tell it so once again I set off into uncharted waters. 

Brother, I am lost no longer.  

YBD 2.27.17

Midnight with Murphy

I should've been fasting these past 10 days out in the hinterlands of Tennessee.  All alone in my trusty tent starving myself of sustenance in order to achieve some greater clarity, understanding and context that occasionally is lost to me.  Heck I was packed up and ready to head out and then something stopped me.  Can't say what for sure - but the cascade of events set in motion since have been nothing short of metamorphic.   

Recently, I met a man who showed me another way and for the past two weeks I've been doing some serious transcendental shit; acupuncture, chanting, Reiki and sensory deprivation (not like Altered States - I'm already a beast of a man but more internal, intrinsic).    If I didn't know better I'd think I'd been smoking some serious Humboldt county style Boo-Ya.  Yes, yes I got a PhD in weed on the west coast.  

Sure, I've acknowledged the possibility and potential of and even dabbled in these Eastern type practices but never personally, truly, and profoundly have I explored them.  And now I'm down in it.  

So where is it going to take me?  What's the endpoint of it all?  To this, I am as yet uncertain.  But here's what I have learned thus far on this new path.

The Fallacy of 'What Should Happen Should Happen'

I was never any good at Logic - not the concept or application of it - but in the scholastic sense and  as a subset of philosophy.  So in attempting to make sense of the sequence of events that led me here to this time and place - I made up this fallacy which is basically the basis of flawed logic. 

People often ask me why did you walk those thousands of miles.  Oh sure, I've got a pocket full of reasons.  The fun, flippant one - everything is bigger in Texas and when we lose a dog to cancer down there we don't walk around a park, we walk cross country.  Then I've got the media sound bite version - sharing Malcolm and Murphy's story from town to town to raise awareness of the epidemic of canine cancer. I've got many more but you get the point.  

Perhaps they are all truths or variations of the same one but for me it's because I believed walking from Austin to Boston would help heal my loss of Malcolm, to soothe my savage heart. And then within weeks of the final mile, Murphy was diagnosed and, well, most of you know the rest of that story.   

And so I walked another 1,700 miles doubling down on the belief that THAT would heal me.   

You see the fallacy in this logic?  That because I believed it should, it should've.  But it didn't.  

Luke 4:23

You know, it's commonly thought that the origin of my name is 'light giving' and the best known example of it is the apostle Paul's traveling companion and doctor.  This proverb - I had to look that up since, um, well I usually skipped Bible study in search of less pious pursuits shall we say - in Latin reads cura te ipsum  - 'Physician heal thyself' something that's been a bit of an impossibility for me it seems.  

I suppose my post-facto rationalization has always been - I never spare myself any emotion for Malcolm and Murphy no matter how painful.  I can endure it.  Just like so many nights on the road and asea, I can weather this storm.  But I have suffered so.  

Self-imposed or not.  

Disconnection

Back to this newfound friend of mine, whom I barely even know. He showed me that pain can be a way to separate yourself from others.  To disconnect from them.  Furthermore, he said that people like me unknowingly use tragedy to spare themselves from the need and necessity of love and letting others in.  

I'm not sure if I believe all of his bullshit yet - but hey, I'm listening.    You see, it's one thing to turn tragedy into action - oh, I've done that and then some.  It's quite another thing to allow that experience to truly transform you.  And it's here I find myself at this intersection.   

Life Off Road

Not to put too fine a point on it but I've become a bit of an expert on backpacking the byways, highways, back roads and farm roads of this incredible land of ours.  But take me off and away from it and I tend to fall apart.  Perhaps it's because I'm always in pursuit of an idea, a belief, a cause - our cause - that remains elusive to me.  Or maybe it's as simple as finding sedentary existence unsettling and like Carthamus I'm damned to a life of wandering and wondering.   

And while I have been pretty good at chronicling and sharing my journeys on the road with you, I've been decidedly deficit in talking about it off, especially post west coast.  From now on, that will change.  I won't let fear, doubt, uncertainty, darkness or utter despair disconnect me from you again.  

In part because some of you have said to me you find the latter much more inspiring and relatable if not essential than the former.  And in part because my new friend tells me to.  

That and I need a simpler formula for existence.  I live.  I learn.  I write.  Something like that... just less cheesy and Julia Roberts sounding.  

Postscripts

Two blogs in draft right now (1) On Turning 36 - My travels and adventurin' have taken their toll on Yer Big Dog so I lick my wounds and tell tales about it; (2) The Theory of Cancer - lately my thinking has gotten so abstract and theoretical about the evolution of cancer. Where is it going and how can that affect our thinking about the future of therapeutics? On societal and civil re-engineering?  Reflections on my conversations with thought leaders and a whole host of other ideas - this will definitely be a multi-part project. 

There are more... lots more but I'm attempting to do a better job of prioritizing my crazy.

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YBD's Notes 1: The name of this blog has a special meaning to me.  Back when I was a businessman in Texas I would often take Malcolm up to my office in the evenings and that inspired a series of writings I entitled Midnight with Malcolm.  Dunno what the change denotes quite yet...

YBD's Notes 2: I stuff hyperlinks in my blogs if'n anyone wants to learn more about things that fascinate me but be forewarned - logic will make yer eyes water.  

YBD's Notes 3: Upon further reflection 'What Should Happen Should Happen' SHOULD be a fallacy. Oh boy.

YBD's Notes 4: Coincidentally, whilst recently consolidating all of my scant worldly possessions from around the country, I found this photo of me taken at the blessing of my childhood home.  I've seen too much of this world in this life to believe in coincidences.  Thanks to my sister-in-law Linda for preserving it.  Nice bowl cut, Mom

YBD's Notes 5:  I should choose a name for my new friend - he's not imaginary.  I Promise.  At least in my mind.  In this room.  That's white.  And padded.  

YBD's Notes 6: Perhaps it's still too early for me to write - no, I'm always doing that - to publish about these transcendental, metaphysical experiences and experiments.  But hey, at least I'm rounding again.  

Puppy Up Nation

Six years ago this Sunday, Hudson, Murphy and I walked the final mile from Back Bay Fens to the Boston Common alongside hundreds of friends and hundreds of canine companions who traveled from 21 states to be there that day. 

When I started out on the road from Austin, TX, I didn’t have much – just a couple hundred bucks in my pocket and a few friends helping me out.  The focus is so intense on each and every step and each and every mile it seemed unfathomable just how far and how long our journey would take us.  And we have gone far! And as we celebrate our sixth anniversary the Puppy Up Foundation has achieved so many incredible milestones. 

Recently I traveled to Madison for their record breaking year, over 1,100 people, and over a $130,000 raised. It’s such an exciting energy to be a part of Team Madison and during a speech by our Scientific Chair, Kai Shiu, said how great it was to be a part of Puppy Up USA.  And I thought, ‘Wow, that’s neat.’ 

 

But then I thought ‘Our reach is international and all of us really are brought together by a common thread that spans border.’  In many ways I feel like we're becoming an institution and that’s when it hit me.  We are a Puppy Up Nation!

I feel like that at every walk I’ve had the privilege to personally participate in.  I am often asked, ‘What are you most proud of?’  And my response has always been, to go from town to town and see how excited the communities are and successful they’ve been putting on walks – that makes me the proudest.’ 

And that’s why I wanted to share this inspiration with a commemorative T-Shirt to celebrate our 6^th anniversary.   And as a way to say thanks to everyone who has made this such a successful organization and as a reminder that we all are together in this and we stand in solidarity.  You can order a shirt here.  

Thank you.  All of you for being a part of Puppy Up Nation!

Hudson, Indiana & Luke

Cancer for President 2016

I took time out of my crazy busy schedule to watch the debates last nite. I wish I didn't but I'm glad I did.  It's time to face facts folks.  No politician gives a shite that you lost a loved one to cancer or that you yourself have it.  DC has a 'deaf ears' policy towards cancer even though it is the greatest global killer ever.

Check out this graphic

Every scientific and medical organization agrees that cancer is the deadliest and most pervasive pandemic afflicting not only adults but innocent children as well.  It no longer discriminates.  

And yet as we bear witness to a cross species scourge that's killing not only millions of people every year but millions of companion animals as well, what does our president do - a systematical and systemic reduction in funding for the National Cancer Institute.  I wrote previously about this and put forward the facts in my blog #NotMyPresidentDay 

Now I'm not just Obama bashing since the past two administrations are guilty of hamstringing the NCI budget but the most egregious sin Obama committed was funding $6.2 billion in Ebola virus research - almost twice the budget of NCI for a disease that claimed only a few lives in the US.  

Oh and nevermind that he gave out over $20 billion last year to 'renewable energy' concerns that failed so piss that money down the toilet. 

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From all of the death and tragedy I've witnessed on my travels, I'm truly at a loss why cancer is not front and center in any and all national debate and discussion.  

Yes I've heard all of the reasons and rationalizations but my conclusion comes down to this: cowardice and political expediency.    

We used to be a nation of hope and resolve.  Of dreams and ideas.  It took us only 10 years to put a man on the moon defying all odds and previous scientific limitations.  

But now we either relent because big pharma is making so much money from selling blockbuster cancer drugs and politicians are in their pocket or we've given up as a nation and accepted the inevitability of complacency.  

There is no one in this world that has put their life and the lives of their dogs at risk for as long and far as I have for this cause but given the current political environment, every day I ask why?  

We're only a couple of fuzzybutts and yes, we've shown what two dogs can do for the world but it's not enough.  It's time to make cancer a national referendum or else..

#CancerWins2016

The Little Flower

Fiorella La Guardia once said.  "If even a sparrow dies in Central Park, I feel responsible".

The Interview.  First Episode.  March 16th.

I'm Badder

I fought you for 4,000 miles. And the fight has only begun. #companionsagainstcancer

Tracing Lines

Sydney didn't make it.  She was due to be discharged this morning but an unexpected cascade of events occurred last night that was unstoppable.

She never made it home but after she was given rest, we got back to Valerie's house and found Hudson on the pile of comforters and pillows

meant for her as though he was awaiting Sydney's return.  And Valerie asked me if I believed Sydney's spirit did make it back.    

Do I believe in that, she asked me.

As a man of both science and faith, I've borne witness to many inexplicable, unresolvable things on my travels. Long ago, I wrote a poem whose opening lines were;

"Cast before a silver sheet,

Tracing lines that never meet."

Reflecting now back on those words I once wrote, I think what I meant was that a life, a love, a mile, a moment in time can be captured photographically but never truly and wholly represented.  

I believe that there is a spiritual connection between loved ones that does and maybe should defy our scientific understanding.  Energy is an expansive thing that is neither created nor destroyed.  And  though the lines never add up and never meet - that connection may change, it is never lost.  

#NotMyPresidentDay

It's president's day but I'm in no mood for celebration.  

Oh it's not because I'm not a patriot as I believe in values like freedom and equality - all of the things that we've fought for as a country. That I've walked for.

But we have a fight of a different kind now and we've been abandoned by our leaders.     

This blog is about the funding for the National Cancer Institute (NCI), this government's, our government's, decade long disregardment of, what the World Health Organization called the deadliest disease in 2010 and nothing else.   

Let's take a look at the numbers.  They represent the total budget of NCI in billions of dollars.

2000 $3.3

2001 $3.8

2002 $4.2

2003 $4.6

2004 $4.7

2005 $4.8

2006 $4.8

2007 $4.8

2008 $4.8

2009 $5.0

2010 $5.1

2011 $5.1

2012 $5.1

2013 $4.8  

Let me give you some context.  This past fiscal year, the current administration earmarked $6.3 billion for Ebola virus research, a disease that affected, what, 1 or 2 people in the US and yet 1/2 of all men and 1/3 of women will be diagnosed with cancer. Nevermind the 2-4 million dogs that develop the same types of cancer every year. Why?

But I get it - it's politically expedient. Ebola grabs headlines.  

On my first walk, I met with a few legislators and lobbyists and what they said was, 'Great cause, just get a spokesperson and a celebrity around it and then we'll listen.' And so I walked the entire expanse of the West Coast in search of someone who would stand up. No one did.  

Even though celebrities talk about how devoted they are to animal causes.  

In my little world of walking 4k miles for this cause, you get tired of those that just talk and talk

which is why I've walked the walk. No one has the right to present themselves as a dog lover unless they stand up to the number one killer of dogs. Cancer.  

I return to DC in June without a celebrity or a spokesperson.   I am no longer a naif.  Having witnessed all of the death I have from cancer I will stand up and be heard.

Reflections on 4000 Miles

Divers have to decompress before resurfacing and the greater the depth of the dive the longer the decompression. I've pretty much been unplugged and down and out right disconnected since the completion of the West Coast Walk because I needed to.  

But I haven't just been making angels in the tons of snow that's blanketed CT - tho Hudsy and Nanners (nice snow stache BTW) have - I've been deep in reflection on the enormity my accomplishments but more importantly how to tell it.  The right way.  

The story's the thing.  

Beginning March 16th, the 7th anniversary of the start of the first walk, I'll be posting a seven part interview with Yer Big Dog wherein which I will talk not only about the great and the glory of this grand adventure but the trials and tribulations, too.  From the fantastic people we've met on our path to the fantastical things we've experienced.  

And we're making it interactive.  I've gotten thousands of questions over the expanse of our journey and haven't always been able to answer all of them so also we're opening this up to you.  If you have something you'd like to personally ask YBD, send me an email by Feb 15th.  Not via FB or TW or in a comment here.  Hopefully we can get it and we'll try our best because I have a lot to say.  Over 4,000 miles and 1,044 days, I've walked the walk now it's time to talk the talk.  #4000miles

Love Actually

I often joke that after Malcolm died I sold my truck and put my stuff into storage but it wasn't just a soundbyte.  Nothing I do or say ever is.

But after almost a decade, tucked away on the I-35 corridor in a 10x10 closet, it was time for a reckoning. That's an interesting word.  Reckoning.

Its origin can be found in old English which gave rise to such concepts of calculation and conclusion.

2014 is the 10 year anniversary since Malcolm was first diagnosed.  How many miles, how many years have I walked since then?  How many people have we touched and inspired?  How many lifelong friendships have we forged?

It's incalculable.  Just like love.

Another true joke is that in short order, in 2004 my dog got cancer, my girlfriend left me and she took the truck.  The pathetic irony is well, I'm from Texas.  But that year I was all alone I watched a movie Love Actually.

You see, I'm the last person to watch romantic comedies or really anything to do with Hugh Grant but it spoke to me about the messiness of life and love and how little I knew about it all.  But I've watched it every year since and today is no different.

Happy XMAS.  Love actually.

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YBD's Notes 1:  There was a reckoning tho - I cleaned out my storage locker most of which ended up in a landfill, the rest I've given away to friends and family.  I am unencumbered.  Except by love. 

No More

It was no choice
That set this course

Astep, astride
The road abides

And through its length
I cried,

'Oh beauty burns
Your trail etern.

The silence of your roar
That swept me neath

No more. No more.'

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YBD's Notes1:  The west coast walk was long and hard, harder than any stretch of the road we've been on before.  But the much bigger lesson here is we're in this together if we have a ghost of a chance to eradicate cancer in us and our companions in our lifetime, puppy up damnit

YBD's Notes2:  Happy XMAS

We Made It Murphy

At 11;30 PST, in the shadows of the Laguna mountains we walked the length of Coronado Island to the edge of Oneonta slough and Hudson, Indiana and I completed our border to border West Coast walk.  

And like most of our Southern  California days, it was sunny and 70.  Indeed, it was a glorious day.  

And like all great endings one not without its comedic twists, cosmic ironies, and poignant moments. 

The morning began with a seven mile hike to the meeting place for our Final Mile which Ginger joined us though I'd quickly learn less for the honor and privilege of partaking in such a powerful experience but more for showing off her new kilt.  Really Ginger???  There can be only One Who Rocks The Kilt...

A couple dozen friends met us to walk the final mile, some we had met along our travels, some were new.  But to my utter shock and surprise, two of my oldest and dearest friends were there:  Jim and Renee with Tripawds.  Man was that way awesome.  And it made a circle round.  You see, they were in Austin to launch our first walk and now at the ending of our second.  Yep I got all choked up. Thanks for the avocados guys - only noticed yesterday you put them in a poop bag.  Hee hee.

Inspired by another of our friends, John Stalls, who walked from Delaware to San  Francisco, I had hoped to jump into the Pacific Ocean to punctuate our tremendous accomplishment but was greeted by this sign.  Apparently Tijuana thinks the slough is a dumping ground for their sewage sludge.  Precise opposite of the pristine Canadian border where began our adventure but the two constants throughout all of it were mountains to east and the ocean at our west.  And my companions by my side.  And that includes not only Indiana who made the entire trek but Hudson who made it to the California border and Malcolm and Murphy in spirit.  

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There are so many people to extend great thanks to - the friends we made along our path, kind and courteous strangers, and even the idiot drivers who although from no lack of trying, didn't kill us on the PCH.  Walking through and across 19 states now, I know of no more treacherous stretch of road.

Thanks to my team and all of the volunteers who helped out in various capacities to ensure our safe passage and make this experience matter, to those who walked the virtual final mile with us, and to our sponsors.  

I have lots of thanking and reflecting to do in the coming weeks but without a moment's rest, I leave now for Texas to catch up on a lot of work, rest a bit, and spend a week with family....

One Photo to Save Them All - Cancer Can't Keep a Good Dog Down

Cancer doesn't have a conscience. It takes precious things from you and leaves a dark aftermath. I figured that out when Malcolm exited this world. For months I stood in a deep pit of sadness with so many unanswered questions. It didn't take long for me to look around and see others sitting in that dirt right beside me.

To honor the great undaunted spirits of our friends taken by cancer, I started a calendar back in 2009. It was a simple and beautiful way to make some sense of these dark experiences, and the goodness just keeps growing. People write to my foundation (Puppy Up) with their stories and pictures every year. Puppy Up publishes the calendar and uses the proceeds to help fund major comparative oncology studies. It's an overlooked but critical area of cancer research that can give us endless information. 

My own Murphy appeared on one cover. If you want to tell us your story and join the fight against cancer in people and companion animals, I've posted the rules below.

Every single story helps, and we appreciate anything you can do.











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Welcome to the 2015 Cancer Can't Keep a Good Dog Down Calendar Contest!This contest gives you a way to honor your canine cancer hero while helping the Puppy Up Foundation raise funds for cancer research to benefit pets and humans.
How Does It Work? 
Register your dog. Simply upload your dog’s story and photo. For best results, use the best high-resolution digital photo you have. Please also be prepared to submit a high resolution digital photo of the same image (minimum of 500kb) upon request for reproduction in the calendar. Then provide a brief summary of your dog's story. The more you show your dog's personality, the more votes you will receive!

Who Can Enter? Anyone with a dog who currently has or has had cancer (living or passed) can enter, including dogs who have entered in previous 2 Million Dogs/Puppy Up calendar contests.

Get started right now. Or for more info, keep reading.

Voting Begins As Soon As You Enter
Your $10 registration becomes the first 10 votes for your dog.

To add more votes, share your dog's page on your favorite social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, and encourage everyone to vote for your dog. (The first vote is $5. All subsequent votes are $1 each.)

The 13 pets with the highest number of votes will win a Dog of the Month slot on the calendar. ALL photo entries will be included in our 2015 Calendar Photo Gallery. 

Your participation helps fund vital cancer research for dogs and humans. 

Begin here and follow the directions. Be sure to write down and remember your user name and password! 

For questions about the contest, please contact Erich Trapp at erich@puppyup.org.

 FAQ

Where Do My Voting Dollars Go? 

Your voting dollars go to fund cutting-edge research in comparative oncology, that branch of research that benefits both companion animals and humans in our fight against cancer.

What Makes a Puppy Up Calendar so Special?

Puppy Up Foundation uses our annual calendar as an educational tool about a critical and often overlooked area of cancer research called comparative oncology. There are important clues in the connections between human and canine cancers, especially since the resulting treatments benefit both species. One of the best ways to call attention to the need for this research is by telling your stories and showing your photos. It also helps transform our losses into information that helps fight the world's deadliest disease.

Why Do I Need This Calendar (when it's published)?

First, every dog entered appears in the calendar. No one gets left behind. We have a whole section of gallery photos dedicated to all of the dogs entered into the contest in addition to our winners who are featured as each month's "model."  We also include regular ‘people’ holidays and special dog holidays like National Puppy Day, Pet Theft Awareness Day, Take Your Dog to Work Day, World Animal Remembrance Month, Pet Cancer Awareness Month, etc.

Each calendar is a one-of-a-kind keepsakes.

Start right here today: look for the Register Here button on the left of the page. Click it and follow the directions.

Have fun and good luck!

Scenes from the roadside 3

Of course there's a zombie foot on our travels.  This was on the sidewalk in Florence OR

Curious moss covered listing ship in rogue river bay

Ummm did someone contact the marketing dept before putting a spout on the company van grill?  

The head shed?  Ok

One Week Til V Day

A week from today our good friend Valerie from CT is flying to CA to join us on the road for a week.  In her words she wants to experience what our life is like out here and not just walking a mile or a day.  Yep pack, tent, she'll be carrying her on weight.  I've invited her to guest blog here so we can discuss last minute preparations and she can share her side of the adventure.

V - 

I shed my base layers, tops and bottoms in Brookings & I've regretted it since.  Temps in Northern California, or at least this stretch of it ave low 60s in the day and 50s at night.  Sweltering heat from the rogue valley pulls high afternoon winds and fog banks and unless I'm in my tent snuggled up with the boys I'm chilled by the damp air.  

But as I've found along the coastline from Newport OR to here there are different microclimates distinct to each of the areas.

The redwood forests are right around the bend and I can't speak to the climate there yet.  My suggestion is pack lightweight base layers - silk, which I prefer, or wicking synthetic.  Fleece just adds more pack weight & don't think you'll need the heavier fabric.

Shoes - hope you have that worked out by now. Don't know why the vasques cause toe cramping - I love mine - but each foot has different demands.  But that has to be resolved ASAP.  Like fletcher wrote - footwear is the foundation - get that wrong and you won't make it a week.

Don't worry about packing first aid sundries - I keep sufficient supply.  Also I pack a multi tool, extra carabiners, zip ties etc.  

I'm worldly enough to know NOT to tell a woman what grooming/cosmetics to pack but since you'll be carrying your own food and water the pounds add up.  I have nail clippers (since I have to keep toes ultra short) razor & cream (travel size) and axe spray for when I'm in public and haven't had a chance to shower or do laundry.

You'll probably want to bring soap since most campgrounds have showers but I wouldn't expect that luxury more than once during the week.  

Other essentials in your pack - a cpl of ziplock bags to keep your electronics dry, poncho (even though I've only used mine twice in the 3 months on the road), a chamois or microfiber towel, sunblock (I don't carry any), a pkg of wipes or rinse free hand soap, bug spray (though I haven't had much of a problem thus far and I recommend skin so soft rather than a deet based product).  

Pillow - if your body contour requires it but I don't afford the space for one and instead use my clothes sack plus my pack for a head rest but it's not terribly comfortable but comfort is a notion you'll have to divorce yourself of quickly.  

Once you arrive next Saturday and pick us up from the road we'll have the balance of the day to do a gear check and purchase any last minute provisions.  But these are mostly small coastal communities out here - no walmarts, best buys or REIs.

Hope your training is going well but don't push yourself after Thursday. Stick to stretching exercises.  As cell service is questionable up in the forests, post your questions or last minute concerns here....

Orygun

It's never the moving forward that's the hardest thing on a long journey.  It's the leaving behind. 

Tuesday August 5th at 12:30 The fearless fuzzybutts and their kilted mate crossed the stateline into California alongside a dozen or so lovely companions.  The folks of Brookings OR really rallied together and gave us the perfect send off (or they were anxious to kick our fuzzybutts into the next state).

We were greeted by this sign at the Blue Coast Hotel and Zoe, the concierge was most gracious to us during our stay.  The warm welcome and generosity of the folks from Brookings couldn't have exemplified our Oregon experience better.  

From L to R: jan (dog less), Tracey & Greg (with canyon, willy & red) Marlene, & carol with Oso.  Not present in the photo are Donna, the mastermind behind team Brookings, Arliss the chamber of commerce head who helped out a ton, and Suzy Q. Can't thank team Brookings enough for making our last stretch in Oregon so special.  

We found this garden of Eden, smallish white flowered meadow just large enough to accommodate our tent above the cape Sebastian beach.  One of the most magical places we've tented out here and it's significant in that it's the closest we've camped to the water for a few reasons.  High water mark isn't easy to discern and even if I could the tides are semi-diurnal meaning 2 high and low tides per day.  Plus with the mountains most of the coast has been either too far down or outland.

There's a saying that's taken me awhile to learn, 'Don't turn your back on the pacific.'  

Mountain mists and fog banks are a daily occurrence here. High temps from the valley east of the coastal mountains pull cooling air off the Pacific Ocean.  Though they consume the coastline and make visibility limited on the coastal highway, they keep the mornings and late afternoons cool. 

Previous three photos were taken at cape Sebastian beach.  We've seen so much native beauty in Oregon but this place will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Indiana provides quite the comic relief.  His quirky sometimes quixotic character cracks me up.  

Port Orford - the battle rock.  What a stunning vista in one of the smallest coastal towns we've been in.  

So many more photos and videos from the Oregon coast but one common problem had plagued us throughout - cell phone service.  It's so bad I had to get a verizon go phone in case of emergencies.  I hear it's better in northern CA but around the bend is miles and miles or redwood forest and we take it one mile at a time.

But before we move on I want to thank the people who made Oregon so memorable and historic (in no specific order other than on the top of YBD's head):  Cathy the Pyrenees queen, Cathy from Portland who took us to the rose garden; Maria & Chris who helped me rescue the damn dove; Rob & Cindy - never got to use your card rob even tho I hoped to pull it out & say something cool like, 'call this man'; sandy & Anna - thnx for the spacious fenced in lot for us to plop at night and your kind and generous spirits, Vince & Diane - the little green man hopes to see you again on our trek; Candy & the grandkids from the 'Boo'; Kim, Red & Carlie from Florence; heather from the Florence animal shelter, Laura from FOCCAS in coos bay, the animal shelter in gold beach; Maryanne & Greg who looked after Hudson in gold beach;  Jenny who took us to breakfast at a Toyota dealership - that was strange but good; & grandma carol who cried when she had to return Hudson to the road.  

Though the list not complete and for that I apologize our lives are richer and fuller having crossed paths with you in Oregon.  And though we must move on, you'll always be in our thoughts. 

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YBDs notes: orygun (sic)

Oregon Ho

A Gathering of Pyrs Is?

We call a group of geese a gaggle.  Of turkeys a rafter.  Quite appropriately enough, vultures are a committee.  And beavers are a lodge.  These things I thought of during Walk 1.  

So when Hudson Indy and I were met on border crossing day by a gathering of Pyrenees from the local club, I wondered what to call them.* 

Thanks to the Columbia Cascade club for coming out last Saturday and cheering us across into our second state.  

The 'Interstate' or I-5 bridge into Portland looked intimidating at first since it's a vertical lift draw bridge and the two that were impassable on our first walk were of similar construct.  The steel grating of those in Baltimore and Philadelphia scared the hell outta the boys but this footbridge was all concrete so we crossed over the Columbia River into Oregon and it was a good day.  

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The Garden of 10,000 Roses

The following day one of our supporters in the area took us to one of the most stunning and spectacular places I've ever been.  Portland's International Rose Test Garden.  

It's a testing ground for new varieties and part of the much larger more expansive Washington Park that spans over 400 acres.  What's noteworthy here, aside from the sheer beauty of this place and that it should be a destination point for all, is that my father has had a lifelong passion for roses and on Father's Day I would find myself here.  

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Washington in The Rearview

Our first full day of walking in Oregon, from the Delta East Park to south of the Ross Island Bridge, we had two complete strangers came up to us and asked what we were walking for and if the dogs needed any food or water.  And that was two more than the entire state of Washington.  

I must admit I'm bumfuzzled at that reality especially since, well, that's never happened to the fuzzybutts in any state ever.  Granted, the Evergreen State has countless homeless and our best guess is that, unfortunately, we were just being bunched up in the fungible forsaken even though I carried a banner that said, '#PuppyUp'.  

In an area that's home to such tech giants as Microsoft and Amazon, the sign would be clear that it's a cause. So in Tacoma we decided to amend the sign nearby.  But the folks got the dimensions wrong and I had to use my sports tape to make it fit in my backpack.**

Surprisingly, still bupkis.

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We Walk On 

Washington is a state of inestimable beauty and memorable but in our short time in Oregon we've made so many new friends and thus far it's been a great experience.  

At present, we've made it to Salem and about 37 miles from Corvallis at which point, we'll pickup Highway 20 and head over the Coast Mountains to the PCH for the remaining 4.5 months of the walk.  

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*YBD's Notes:  A Gathering of Pyrenees should be called a Preponderance I think.  

**YBD's Notes:  This was no small feat but we've since had the sign cut down and re-grommetted (is that even a word?).  Going forward, this is OUR sign.  

Day 35: 2nd Path Lab Results

Like I talked about on Day 16, I've been awaiting on the results of the additional prognostic and proliferation tests and today I finally got the path report.  

I took a pic of it with the ole trusty I-Phone and if you can't read the image, basically it's damn good news 

My decision is no chemo as I feel the potential downside exceeds any preventative or prophylactic benefit.  

Delivered on the eve of my planned departure, I can leave tomorrow to head back up to New England in good conscience and positive spirits.  

The Nature of the Beast

"I really try to put myself in uncomfortable situations. Complacency is my enemy." - Trent Reznor.  Nine Inch Nails

My time in the tent this past week wasn't spent sliding down spirit caves with power animals or searching for blue orchids, I worked.  Or to put a more fine point on it, I studied in solitary quietude.  

One of my lifelong friends, now gone, was a philosophy professor and he always said, 'Luke (That's how I was known back then before becoming Yer Big Dog I mean).  Life isn't about answers, it's about the questions you ask.'   

And now that I'm 3 for 3 for dogs with cancer, I have a lot of goddamn questions.   We all do.  

But being back in the tent again I couldn't help but wonder if I had missed something the first time.  And the second time.  So I need to start again.  With the first question.

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What is cancer?

According to Withrow & MacEwen's 'Small Animal Clinical Oncology', there are two generations or iterations of our understanding of cancer.  The first, Gen 1 let's call it, was from a 30 year compilation of research published in 2000 by Drs. Hanahan and Weinberg called the 'Six Hallmarks of Cancer'.  

They were attempting to distill the down and outright differentiation, the lowest common denominator, the absolute zero, between a normal cell and a cancer cell and they accomplished something close to it - an approximation that became an early and important precedent.  

Before I begin with my folksy analysis of it, I encourage you to purchase this inestimable tome.  Most nearly all of the thought leaders and minds both past and future in comparative oncology contributed to it and I'm humbled even at an attempt to understand it.  

Heck the flow charts look like a John Madden schematic to me. But here we go.  

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The Six Hallmarks of Cancer

1. Self Sufficiency of Growth Signals.  

This is the 'To Be or Not to Be', the Hamlet, shall we say, of the hallmarks.  Cancer is a genetic disease but not all predisposed or mutated cells become malignant.  Proto-oncogenesis doesn't presuppose oncogenesis.  

But once it 'Be', like Hamlet's ill-fated love for Ophelia, a cascade of events occur very few of which can stop the inevitable.  

2. Insensitivity to Antigrowth Signals.  

If only cancer was a cell on a homicidal steroidal rampage, unchecked and running amok, like Arnold Swarz... shit, the Terminator, well, we'd deal with it kind of the same way. We gave him the run of 80's action films, made him the Governator but, whoa, president and potentially the ruler of the universe?  

That's what Tumor Suppressor Genes, or the Kindergarten Cops, do and this is important.  

Back in the 1970s, before Arnold was clad in a loin cloth in Conan, scientists were trying to understand retinoblastoma* and in researching its heritable traits they discovered the existence of a tumor suppressing gene which in subsequent research yielded the discovery of p53 (more on p53 later).  

But the 'Terminator' will always be back.  Like what Michael Chrichton wrote in Jurassic Park.  'Nature finds a way'.  So does cancer and it found a way to suppress and/or inactivate the biochemical mechanisms and fool-proof machinery incorporated into your DNA to prevent tumor suppressor genes and p53.  

This is the point at which pink elephants come into the equation.

My friend, Pete, loved pink toys.  It made him happy. In nature, happy, is referred to as homeostasis.  It's the balance, the bad v good ballad that's part of the Dance of life.  

If only cancer was an aberration, a beefy Austrian bad actor named Arnold that defied all odds.  But it isn't.  And it only gets worse.     

3. Evasion of Cell Death. 

The Cell Cycle ain't complicated in a cradle to grave sense.  Cells procreate to sustain the life of tissue, organ systems, and ultimately self.  Left unchecked, hell, it'd become part of the Kardashian franchise but pre-programmed in a cell's genetic structure is a stop function called apoptosis.  

However, to quote the textbook, 'Cancer cells, through a variety of strategies, can acquire resistance to cell death and apoptosis.' I call this the Br'er Rabbit Effect.  

I'll stop here and continue with 4-6 tomorrow.  I'll start again.