Faith is a funny thing. That I lacked it wasn't Emily's fault, it was mine.
Having sat through so many sermons and listened to countless testimonies in church, I had already made the deduction that faith was the easy way out.
Fuck up, ask for forgiveness, it's all good.
That may work for the laity but people of science don't get off that easily nor would they care to. From Newton to Kierkegaard to Einstein to Tesla, they gave up lifetimes to understand the mysteries of the world.
When I left high school and set my love for Emily aside, I decided that the answers I sought would be found in science. I was certain of that.
And when I first had the vision of the walk, I struggled with it. In fact, I walked away from it because it was too risky to the boys. I didn't want it, didn't need it and yet it didn't leave me.
The turning point was a sermon I listened to about the difference between a dream and a mission. Discerning between the two turned out rather easily - you can only walk away from one.
I would soon learn that having faith is infinitely harder than learning and erudition. And I couldn't take the first step without it.
YBD's Notes 1: I killed my laptop so I'm writing on a Sony Vaio which isn't so easy with my large hands.
YBD's Notes 2: I can't believe I spelled Kierkegaard correctly the first go about it.
YBD's Notes 3: Only 2 Chapters left in the first book.